Step 12: Love

John 13:33-35 (NIV)

33 “My children, I will be with you only a little longer. You will look for me, and just as I told the Jews, so I tell you now: Where I am going, you cannot come. 34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

John 15:17 (NIV)

17 This is my command: Love each other.


The first time I told my bride, then girlfriend, that I loved her was at a hole in the wall hot dog place in Chicago called Luke’s. Not the most romantic place to drop that bomb, but they do have really good fries. I love those fries. 

When Jesus went to be with the Father, He told his disciples that they couldn’t follow Him there. How are we supposed to follow Him to a place where we cannot go? Well, He tells us. By loving one another. This is the definition that Jesus gives us for what it means to be a follower. It is repeated over and over throughout the New Testament by Jesus and His followers.

Peter: “Above all, keep loving one another…”

Paul: “Love one another with brotherly affection…”

John: “Dear friends, let us love one another…”

James: “If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing right.”

You will find the commandment in every gospel and almost every other letter in the New Testament. 

But, how? How do I love my brother and sister that I do see (1 John 4:20)? Often, that’s the problem. It’s easy to love something we never see because we can choose to see them how we want to. It is when I see my brother that I am tempted to hate them because sometimes they hurt me. Of course, this is the point of the commandment. You wouldn’t need the commandment and its repetition if it were easy. 

So, how do we love? Jesus shows us the way.

Your Turn:

Jesus commands us (this is not optional) to love one another as He has loved us… as He has loved you. While we were yet sinners and didn’t deserve it. While we were in rebellion, enemies of God. When we were lost and didn’t have a chance. How did He love us? 

  • He came: It was no small thing for the Creator of the Universe to come, for the Word to become flesh. How do we love like that? We show up. Be present. Help them move. Go to the birthday party. Go to the kids’ soccer game. 

  • He loved us first: We love because He first loved us. Now it is your turn. Be the initiator. Love them first. Be intentional. Make the phone call. Send the text. 

  • He forgave us: Those who have been forgiven much are able to love much. It is time to let go of the offense. Instead of rehearsing what they did to hurt you, pray for them. If it is safe (though it may be scary), call them. 

  • God so loved that He gave: There is something about giving that is an essential element of showing love. This week, buy a gift for someone. Make it special and take the time to meet with them and explain why you chose that gift for them. 

  • He gave His life on the cross: We can’t come close to this level of love. It is the very definition of love. But we can, and must, pick up our cross everyday. Choose to set aside our selfish desires for the sake of the other. Choose to sacrifice. For every dollar you spend on coffee or entertainment this week, donate a dollar to a local charity. Maybe fast one meal a day this week and donate the money you would have spent on the meal.

And maybe… take someone out for some really good fries and tell them that you love them.