1 John 1:8–9

8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 

James 5:16

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.

Last week, you did the very difficult work of forgiving others their sins against you. This week, you will do the vulnerable work of finding forgiveness for your sins through the discipline of confession. 

Can we begin by agreeing that we all sin? We all miss the target of being perfect in our love for God and for one another. Now, excessive introspection doesn’t make us holy, it just makes us obsessive about our sins. We can end up camping out at our cesspool and lose our identity as redeemed saints. Our deepest problem isn’t that we sin, it is that we waste far too much time trying to rationalize, justify, or excuse our sins. Or we try to bury our sin and shame under good deeds and sacrifices. This won’t work. You are not fooling God.

What is truly needed is for us to “come clean” and confess it. Truthfully, honestly, completely confess it. When we sin, it is like getting a splinter in your finger. If you don’t remove the splinter, there will be pain every time you touch it. If you want the wound to heal and the pain to go away, you have to remove the splinter. Healing can’t begin until the sin is removed, and confession is the only thing that can do that. Confession opens the door for forgiveness and healing to enter into our heart. Your confession doesn’t fix it, but it allows the healing to begin.

Your Turn:

Sin always causes separation. We end up separated from ourselves, separated from others, and separated from God. In order for the wound of separation to begin healing, we need threefold confession. 

• Confession to self:Slow down, get quiet, and examine yourself. Stop using distractions so that you don’t have to deal with yourself. Start removing the facades and be completely honest about how you are doing. Nothing can be healed until it is revealed. 

Where did you go wrong this week? What have you been hiding from God? What are you hiding from yourself and others?

Write down one thing that you are doing well lately (positive confession is important too).

Write down two things that you have not done well lately, things causing you to feel shame.

• Confession to God: Take your list that you just wrote down and bring it before God. Don’t make any excuses, He doesn’t need that. Just be honest with Him about your sin. It might be helpful to ask yourself why you felt like you had to sin. Confess that too.

“Father, I receive your forgiveness for _______. Please save me, heal me, and restore me so that I won’t be tempted by that sin again.”

• Confession to others: This is the hardest and possibly the most important one to do. If sin causes separation and isolation, healing is going to come through community. Find one or two other people that you trust enough to be vulnerable and honest with. Someone who you know won’t judge you or condemn you for your sins. 

Step 1: You will need to ask someone if they would be willing to receive your confessions. This is a big ask and you need to give them the opportunity to say no. If they say yes…

Step 2: Set up a time to share your confession with them. It doesn’t have to be a long time, but it does have to be a dedicated and intentional time.

Step 3:

Confessor - “How have you sinned?”

Confessant - Share your sin. Keep it simple and short. Simply say it.

Confessor - “Your sin is forgiven by the blood of Christ. Receive and sin no more.”

Confessant - Take the time to release the sin to God and receive His forgiveness.

“Sin demands to have a man by himself. It withdraws him from the community. The more isolated a person is, the more destructive will be the power of sin over him, and the more deeply he becomes involved in it, the more disastrous is his isolation. Sin wants to remain unknown. It shuns the light… Since the sin must come to the light some time, it is better that it happens today between me and my brother, rather than on the last day in the piercing light of the final judgement. It is a mercy that we can confess our sins to a brother. Such grace spares us the terrors of the last judgment.” 

Dietrich Bonhoeffer - Life Together